Thursday, June 26, 2008

Sunkist Fleishmann

Reporting FAIL!

So, McHale goes off again and trade OJ Mayo for a couple of white dudes. For fucksake, I actually felt good for one second about the Wolves drafting Mayo and then this happens. I guess I can go back to ignoring the team. Seriously, I am just not excited to see fucking Kevin Love shoot 15 footers or to have Mike Miller leave grease stains on the Target Center floor.

Moving on to a Minnesota team that does not suck, the Twins have run off 9 wins in a row and are only 1/2 game out of first in the central. Hopefully, they continue their shallacking of NL teams this weekend against MKE. It's a funny game. They trade the best pitcher on the planet in the off season, lose an all-star CF to free agency, and get the short end of the deal (so far) with the Garza for Young trade, and the Twins are BETTER in '08 than they were last year. Go figure. It remains to be seen if the Twins can keep this up, but they'll be serious contenders in a few year if everything stays together like it should.

Monday, June 23, 2008

RIP George

My first exposure to George Carlin was from a cassette of 'Playing with my head' that my brother bought and I ended up in possession of when I was 13 or so. I think I can still recite most of the lines from that recording. The stuff about sports, saying goodbye, 5 2's, etc. Shit, the other night I described Lacrosse as a "faggot college activity" during the course of some drunken conversation. Lines from that one stand-up album found a permanent place in my vocabulary.

Back in '98 or so, a friend and I made it up an Indian casino where Carlin was doing a show. He opened the show by saying "they say that Indians name their kids after the first thing they see when coming out of the makes you wonder why there aren't more kids named big wet hairy pussy." This actually drew boos from the crowd, and then Carlin snapped back "if you don't know that I'm on your side by now, fuck off." I was in stitches, the rest of the show was great. Carlin had such a unique ability of making poignant political and philosophical commentary on a vast array of subjects from religion to language. But then in a matter of minutes the show would change gears and he'd be making funny faces and contorting his body like a monkey. His physical humor almost made me piss myself on more that one occasion. Those shows from the 70s and 80s were pure genius. You'll be missed George.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I almost dropped a turd in the shower this morning by accident

I found a little Java program that allows you to play various table games like Let it Ride, Pai Gow, Caribbean Poker, etc. It is good "practice" for my upcoming Vegas trip, but I only now realize how boring these games are if you strip away the friends, free drinks from scantily clad females, and overall atmosphere of excitement Vegas brings. I guess in some ways you can say this about online vs live poker too. Live poker is much more captivating. Instead of laying around like a fat slob on you couch playing 2/4 stud against a dude from Moscow with an Ivan Drago pic for an avatar, you are elbow to elbow with degenerates, douchebags, and people there to have a good time. I enjoy the latter the most, but remember the former the best.

In preparation for the trip I removed a paltry sum of money from pokerstars to buttress my bankroll for the trip. I would be worried about funding this one, but I will be there less than 48 hours, so I can't do too much damage. Right? After last Christmas' nightmare at the IP, I will be staying at the equally inexpensive Bill's Gambling Hall (formerly known as the Barbary Coast). Just in time for our trip, Bill's now has a poker room that has 2 tables which run a $1 NL game, and I think, a spread limit game. Sounds like it might make for some good late night donkey poker.

I am not going there with any particular expectations about winning large sums of money playing live poker. I hardly have time to play online anymore, let alone play live games, but this will not deter me from having a gay old time.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Original Gangster

Back around '97 or '98 I started my first personal webpage. There were record reviews, links to popular music sites, lame attempts at humor, and book reviews. It was called Exit 104 and it was hosted for free on It lasted into 2001, but I quit adding content and now there is no trace of the website that I can find. I still have all the html and associated files. I should throw some up here when i get horribly desperate for content.

I once reviewed John Cheever's 'The Wapshot Chronicles.' I was way ahead of the game reviewing a book that had been published 40 years or so prior. I might has well reviewed something from James Joyce or Shakespeare.

I reviewed records from Blur, Boss Hog, Radiohead, and countless others. A big part of the website revolved around incorporating some of the photos I took of desolate scenes in North Dakota. Farms with dilapidated barns, dogs, crosses in the middle of a wheat field, anti-abortion billboards.

In some ways it was a blog before there were blogs, at least as much as I was familiar with the term. Fuck, I could have taken advantage of the whole blogger movement if I hadn't lacked talent, vision, or motivation. It's amazing how seemingly the simplest ideas have turned to