Where to began....that is, resume.

Aww fuck, I've been gone a long time. Let's take a peek at the last few months.

October 2009:
Twins get swept by the Yankees who go on to win the WS. Fuck 'em.
Spend a week in Chicago for a conference.....spend way too much time a bar named 'Snickers'. Spend too little time catching up with old friends.

November 2009:
Eat copious amounts of turkey.

December 2009:
Go from Atlanta to Fargo to Vegas to Fargo to Atlanta and mostly maintain my sanity even though we flew out of Fargo in an honest to god real northern plains blizzard. We stayed at Bally's this go around which was decent as we got a jacuzzi suite courtesy of the 20 dollar trick. First night gambling I play some video poker while pounding back glasses of Fosters and score about 250 when I hit quad 2's. Next day is rough as I piss away 50 bucks at slots, lose a $100 buy-in at 1-2NL and lose the winning bet ticket I made on USC over BC. The last night I sit down at a Mississippi Stud table and thanks in large part to making a full house, I walk away up 700 bucks or so. A nice way to end the trip.

Celebrate new years quietly with 1 GF, 2 cats, and a little wine.

All Things

Fucking poker is sucking ass right now. I'm about to cash out my pissant bankroll and put it towards my credit card bills or the 30K in student loans I gotta pay back which gave me 12.5 years of college, a BS, MS, PHD and an STD or two, and a job that doesn't even pay 4oK. You might think I'm complaining, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I once read that many of us who go to grad school do so in order to prolong some romantic period of our lives where we make no money, when in fact we predominately come from wealthy families. That's a crock of shit, because myself, the people I've met, and the people that have become my lifelong friends furthered our education because they didn't see many attractive options after undergraduate studies, didn't want to start pumping out babies, and really had nothing else to do. No place else where we'd fit in. It's not like we were so fucking smart at 22 that our brains were aching to absorb 8 years of graduate school on 16K a year and 60 hour weeks. It's about lacking identity, in which case you seek to find it. I guess many of us have found it.

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I made my 6th or 7th trip to vegas about a month ago. Shacked up with 3 friends in the MGM grand. Like the other trips, I managed to end up a loser, but had some fun. We started the trip off with brunch at the Venetian, followed by a tourney at Caesars Palace which saw me bubble out when my QQ all in was called by the only person with more chips than me. He had AK and flopped an A and I was done. I win that and I could pretty much coast to a nice payday. The rest of the day was occupied by playing cheap pai gow at the Trop and imbibing several 7 and 7s. The next morning we all cab it over to the Hard Rock where I win a couple hundred bucks in an hour playing 1/2 NL. The 1pm touney wasn't so kind to me, but weetarded guy (in our group) takes it down for a nice score.

We go back over to the Trop for some cheap Pai Gow and cheap craps. I lose a bit at pai gow, and then proceed to lose 100 bucks on my charter craps session, despite getting the hot hand while rolling and builing my buyin from 20 bucks to 120. The rush of going on a hot streak pretty much made up for the money I lost, but I can't say I'm all that crazy about the game.

We go back over to the MGM grand where I buyin for 100 bucks at a 1/2 NL table. I win a bit early and then pretty much sit there pounding beers and playing tight for 3 hours or so. I go on another small win streak and sit with 200 or so when I get pocket 10s in middle position. I raise to 10 and get 2 callers. Flop comes 10c 9c As and I start to salivate. One check to me, I bet 20, get min raised by the button, which was called by the old dude who checked and I called as well. The turn is the Ac. Old dude leads out for 60 bucks, I push knowing that someone has an A and both people call. Over 600 in the pot and the river comes a Kh. Fuck me...the button, who played the hand like a horses ass, had AK offsuit. Old dude had the flush and I get up and leave. I sit at the bar and down some more beers while pissing away more money on the shitty ass video poker at MGM.

After waking the next morning, we grab breakfast at NYNY at some cafe that has a giant topigraphical map of the US on the ceiling. We play a bit of craps there after bfast before it is time to me to hop on the 4 hour flight back to ATL.

Sign of the Times - Vegas Part II

After lunch we headed back to the Planet Hollywood to kill some time before dinner. My girlfriend napped, while I took the time to get my PH players card and place a bet on the Packers (+4) over the Bears. It was an emotional bet, as I was hoping to see a Green Bay win meaning the Vikes clinching the NFC north. Despite it being and emotional wager, I figured the Pack would give them a tough game since it is a huge rivalry, plus I only bet 20 bucks.

After placing the bet, I again found myself playing video poker. I hit some good hands and cashed up about 50 bucks. I decided to try my luck at Pai Gow again, and lost my whole buy-in fairly quickly, but offset that loss with 4 or 5 budweisers. I was on a little bit of tilt because I hit up the ATM and dumped 60 bucks into a slot machine, polishing off another beer in the process. At this time, my girlfriend had texted me that she was shopping. I declined the invitation to join her, and kept on playing-dumping more money into the slot machine. Luckily, she made it back to the casino and we had a pre-dinner drink at the 'heart bar.' Our waitress had enormous tits and a pimp decked-out in red sat alone at a table nearby.

We caught a cab to McCormick and Schmick's for dinner. I had clam chowder and then salmon stuffed with spinach and brie. All around, everyone agreed the dinner was great. Over the course of dinner, I was sweating the football game. The Packers blew a lead, missed the winning FG, and the game went to overtime. We stuck around and had another drink at the bar and caught the end of the game. Bears kicked a FG in overtime-bittersweet, I won my bet, but the Pack didn't help the Vikes out.

We took a cab back to the PH and our driver complained that he had been working all day and we were only his 5th fare. I don't doubt it, Vegas seemed pretty much dead. The cabbie figured it was a combination of the time of the year/week and the crappy economy. We headed up to the room for a bit, and after my girlfriend decided to take it easy, I headed down to gamble a bit. I hit the casino floor and before I even knew it a dark-haired woman hopped out from a slot machine and asked me "are you looking to party?" I was kinda surprised by her approach and I politely declined. Over the course the next few hours, I saw a few other hooker/potential trick interactions. All obviously occurring right in plain view on the casino floor. In my previous trips to Vegas I have never seen hookers being so forward and out in the open. Maybe, it is a sign of the slow time of year and pisspoor economy. It affects everyone from the cabbies and hookers, all the way to the Billionaire's who got fucked over by Bernie Madoff.

I decided to play let it ride, a game that I had no experience playing in the casino. I played conservatively, but ended up hitting some huge hands as the next hour went on. I turned my 100 buyin into 350 or so and called it a night.

The Hustle - Vegas part I

We arrived in Vegas about 1030pm local time after 3 hour flight which seemed more like 5 hours with the constant turbulence. I used my VIP card to bypass the slow-as-molasses rental car line and we were soon heading our way up Las Vegas Blvd. We valeted the car at Planet Hollywood and we were happy to see no line for check-in. I decided to attempt the '20 dollar trick' and see if we could get a room upgrade. The male clerk immediately pocketed the 20 bucks and set us up in a resort vista room. Predictably, the rooms at PH are themed after movies and our room theme was "The Long Kiss Goodnight" starring Samuel L Jackson and Geena Davis. The room was very nice with a King bed, 52" flat screen TV, his and hers vanity, large tub and separate shower and a view of the strip.

The whole process from getting off the plane to checking into the hotel was so efficient that I decided to go gamble for a bit. I sat down at one of the bars and played a bit of video poker ending up 40 bucks after hitting a straight flush. I cashed out and sat down at a pai gow table. I had a horrible time at this table. I didn't win a hand for about an hour, and after I won a few a few dealer rolled over everyone at the table and I left, losing most of my buyin.

My girlfriend and I got up in the morning and met her mom and sister at the Peppermill for breakfast/lunch. We decided to walk since it was such a nice day. As we were almost there, we were approached by a rough looking woman standing outside a CVS. She asked us if we had "3.75 for tampons." We were both so fucking flabergasted that we just kept on walking without saying anything. I think that woman needs a new hustle. We went inside the Peppermill and I absolutely destroyed an eggs benedict.

Vegas - Day 2

I did ok our first day in Vegas, but I woke up with the worst headache I've had in years. Punishment for making a few bucks......or maybe it was the shitty beers I had at the end of the previous night. I gobbled up some Ibuprofen and by the time I was showered I felt pretty good. We opted for breakfast at the Teahouse in IP. I've been there 6 or so times and I think I've had eggs benedict each time. Yummy. Although it's pretty sad that this was the best meal I had in Vegas this trip.

We all jumped in a 2/4 game at the IP after breakfast. The plan was to play this for awhile and then play the noon tourney. I don't remember much from this session, besides the fact that I had to excuse myself and drop a giant turd at some point. The "tourney" at IP was pretty lame, although it probably fit my style fairly well. We had about 20 runners and the structure was pretty quick. I busted on the last hand before the break when I reraised all in with 57 of diamonds on a 6d 8s jd flop. A dude called me with J2 after tanking for a bit. I missed my outs and I was back in the 2/4 game. We all played in that for several hours and I managed to drop over 100 bucks. It was good times though and we left to have dinner at the Victorian Room at Bill's. I had nachos (shared) and a ceasar salad. The salad was the most disgusting thing I've seen in a while. It was basically iceberg lettuce floating in 12 ounces of dressing.

We returned to the Flamingo, but I was seated at a table by myself. The table was the most passive, calling station filled game I've ever played at. Probably 8 players saw a flop on average. I was the one who didn't see it most of the time. I was never able to get anything going and I cashed out down 40 bucks or so. Before I did I got to hear the dude next to me say some pretty weird things to the awesome waitress (she brought me 5 budweisers in a few hours). The best was "too bad you're married, I would like to take you home and shave your legs."
I went back to Bill's and played some pai gow. I lost a few bets before johnny and shoeshiner showed up. We played for a while and then called it a night. All in all, I did pretty shitty on Day 2. Pretty much lost anything I played, but I never went on crazy tilt trying to get my money back on dollar slots or from a spin of the roulette wheel. It was a pretty uneventful end to an uneventful trip. I still haven't been able to get the monkey off my back and book a nice win in Vegas. Maybe my 5th trip (TBD) will be the one.

Vegas - Day 1

The flight from MKE to LAS was uneventful. Despite the fact that the flight was nearly full, I lucked out and the seat next to mine was empty. I was able to do a bit of work and then watch Dr. Strangelove on the laptop. Great movie. I arrived the same time as Johnny and we decided to have a shitty breakfast at some airport restaurant while waiting for the Shoeshiner. The juevos rancheros was to puke for, but we did catch a glimpse of Ervin Johnson while he was eating with his family. Not Magic, but the spazzy center who played for the Bucks and some other teams. I also swear Big Pussy from the Sopranos was there, but Johnny didn't think it was him.

The Shoeshiner arrived a short time later and we were on our way to Bill's. The rooms at Bill were a really good value at 49.99/night. It was decent sized, had a nice big 42" flat screen and was clean. We did waste much time and went to work stopping at the Flamingo poker room. We were all 3 seated at the same table immediately. An older Chinese man sat to my right and while he played okay, the dude had the hardest time staying awake.....at noon. One second he would be talking or drinking some coffee and then his head would be nodded down with his cards just sitting there. Apparently, it was my duty to take care of him because I had to rouse him no less than 3 times. He eventually left. Overall, it was a very beatable table, and I left up about 90 bucks when we cashed out despite losing a monster pot with a baby flush my final hand.

We ate at some shitty cafe in the Flamingo and went to the IP. There was no 2/4 game going, so we donked around at Pai Gow for a little while before making our way up to the Sahara for their 7pm tourney.

I completely treaded water in the tourney before raising all in with 78 suited and getting called by a limper with KJ off. I lost the hand and went and played $5 Mini Pai Gow while pounding Miller Lite's and smoking cigs. I play for a couple hours and then went back to the poker room where Johnny was at a 2/4 game and the Shoeshiner was busy getting 10th in the tourney for a small score. I took a seat at the 2/4 game and end up about 10 bets before we decide to leave. We headed back to Bill's to close out the night with some Pai Gow. We were all doing ok until they changed dealers and the dude beat us into submission with several huge hands in a row. We crashed around 3am despite my drunken threats to order a 6 pack and a pizza.

Las Vegas

Here I come for my 4th visit. I can already feel the excitement in anticipation of my arrival. 2 full days of poker, pai gow, booze, and very little sleep. On each of my previous 3 trips I have walked away a modest loser, but this time I feel my luck will change. No more getting aces cracked by queens. No more weak play in the latter stages of tournements. No dollar slot machines. No 20 dollar trick at the dumpiest hotel on the strip! No blackjack with Madonna or Elvis impersonators! Win, dammit!

I almost dropped a turd in the shower this morning by accident

I found a little Java program that allows you to play various table games like Let it Ride, Pai Gow, Caribbean Poker, etc. It is good "practice" for my upcoming Vegas trip, but I only now realize how boring these games are if you strip away the friends, free drinks from scantily clad females, and overall atmosphere of excitement Vegas brings. I guess in some ways you can say this about online vs live poker too. Live poker is much more captivating. Instead of laying around like a fat slob on you couch playing 2/4 stud against a dude from Moscow with an Ivan Drago pic for an avatar, you are elbow to elbow with degenerates, douchebags, and people there to have a good time. I enjoy the latter the most, but remember the former the best.

In preparation for the trip I removed a paltry sum of money from pokerstars to buttress my bankroll for the trip. I would be worried about funding this one, but I will be there less than 48 hours, so I can't do too much damage. Right? After last Christmas' nightmare at the IP, I will be staying at the equally inexpensive Bill's Gambling Hall (formerly known as the Barbary Coast). Just in time for our trip, Bill's now has a poker room that has 2 tables which run a $1 NL game, and I think, a spread limit game. Sounds like it might make for some good late night donkey poker.

I am not going there with any particular expectations about winning large sums of money playing live poker. I hardly have time to play online anymore, let alone play live games, but this will not deter me from having a gay old time.

Vegas III: Fresh air, crumb sweepers, and small victories.

Our last full day in Vegas we decided to get some fresh air and explore the Red Rock canyon area. We has some lunch and made our way west into the hills. It was a very sunny day, but still very brisk, probably around 45 degrees or so with a steady wind. We made our way around the canyon, hiking some of the trails, stopping and looking at others. It was great being able to see something other than the inside of a casino or losers waiting to get chow in a buffet line.

After spending a good part of the afternoon at the canyon we got back to the IP with a few hours to rest up and then make our way to dinner at Lawry's. I took advantage of that time to roam around the IP, finally deciding to stop and have a beer while playing some video poker at the Sake Bar. I flopped a straight flush playing 'deuces wild' and pocketed the profit.

We met mom and sis' at Lawry's off of Flamingo. It was delectable - sis' and I had shrimp and brie stuffed salmon filet, while GF and momma had exquisite cuts of prime rib with 2 shared bottles of Merlot between the 4 of us. Just prior to dessert the waitress whipped out a silver tool which she used sweep the crumbs off our table. Ooo la freakin' la! The 3 ladies were stuffed and tired after dinner which was perfect for me as I was able to watch the end of the Texas/ASU game and play some poker. Texas won, netting me a modest 18 bucks, and I then ambled over to the Flamingo and then back after realizing their pokerroom was full. I was soon seated at a 2/4 table at the IP.

This table was by far and away the best of the trip - it had a couple of out and out fish there to have fun, a couple of decent looking girls from California who had a decent grasp of the game but both ended up losing their buy-ins, and a couple of drunk slobs who were in pretty much every hand. I don't remember much in terms of hands, but I was able to grind out a 50 or 60 dollar win over the course of the next 3 hours. One of the dealers that rotated in moved at an insanely fast pace. It was exhausting watching him do it and I hardly had time to take a decent swig of beer. He informed the table that he did everything fast - a comment that was met with modest chuckles from the ladies. The table started to get shorthanded, and with the speed at which the blinds were coming around I decided to book a small profit and call it a night.

The next day we were on our way back to Fargo. The flight back was pretty good despite a few crying babies. However, it was nightmare on the tarmac part two as the airport people were unable to get the skyway to connect to the plane. We sat there a good 45 minutes until they decided to de-board us using some rickety stairs pushed up to the cabin door.

Vegas III: Broken Bottles

I slapped down 20 bucks each on Purdue (-8) over Central Michigan in the 'Who gives a fuck' bowl and on Texas (-2.5) over Arizona State in the Outback Nestle Crunch Doritos Tostitos Frito Bandito Bowl. Purdue had walloped Central Michigan earlier in the year and through the first half of the game look destined for a repeat performance. Purdue was up 21 early in the 3rd quarter and then managed to completely implode and give up 3 unanswered TDs. They ended up winning when they kicked a last second FG, but my 20 went down the toilet.

As the game was going on I was taking my GF out to Pampas Brazilian BBQ at Planet Hollywood for her b-day dinner. We arrived early and did some last minute xmas shopping for a friend of hers who we were meeting for dinner. We (she) decided on some PJs and a bottle of Merlot, which was elegantly wrapped in a cheap gift bag that looked like a slot machine. I was carrying the bag as the 3 of us were making our way through the busy miracle mile shops and to Pampas when all of a sudden the bag felt 75 percent lighter and I was staring at a broken bottle and wine spilling all over the mall floor. We did what any responsible adults would do and we left it there and walked quickly towards the restaurant.

The M.O. at these Brazilian BBQ joints is for 'gauchos' to come around to your table with various cuts of meat on a skewer. We sample different cuts of steak, pork, and chicken. Compared to similar dinners in San Diego and Atlanta, this place was a tad sub-par. None of the meats stood out as exceptional and the service was average at best. We didn't let this put a damper on our evening as we headed to a bar in the PH shops and had a few more drinks.

When we got done my GF was tired and this allowed me to hit up the poker tables again. I played for a couple hours, took some horribles beats, made some horrible plays and lost most of a buyin at 2/4 holdem. I tried to strike gold on a dollar slot machine, but wound up drunkenly dumping 50 bucks in that. Wisely, I called it a night.

Vegas III: Christ's B-day Buffet Special

When I woke up at Harrah's I realized that the events of the night before weren't simply a nightmare - it indeed happened. Why else would we be at Harrah's? The important thing was that we are now here and awake and must go back to IP to check in. After showering and grabbing coffee we head over to IP ready to sit in line for an hour or two. Things go surprisingly smooth at check-in and we make our way up to our "Deluxe" room. Spending one night in a decent hotel makes you realize what a fucking dump the IP is.

We hopped in the Impala and made our way to the Texas Station for a Christmas day brunch buffet. We were meeting GFs mom and sister there. I park the car by a replica of an oil derrick and make my way inside. We are seated quickly and head for the first run through the buffet. Nothing is all that great, but in true Christmas fashion it is a Champagne brunch buffet. All 4 of us wash down our first plate with the cheap swill and we convince the waitress to bring us some more. She came through with a whole damn tray full of the shit and everyone gets pretty toasty by the time we get done eating.

After that we do the regular xmas day gift exchange and everyone gets pretty tired around 4pm. GF and I head back to the IP, she takes a nap and I make a beeline for a 2/4 limit table. The table is short-handed for the first hour or so, and our table even stopped briefly, but they kept brining me drinks, so it was ok. I played for a few more hours before dinner and ended up about 30 bucks.

We head to eat some Mexican at the Forum shops at Caesar's Palace. I have a 15 dollar burrito and spill my 10 dollar margarita in true drunken spaz fashion. After that we do a bit of shopping and call it a night, but not before I lay down bets on the 2 days of college football bowl games.

Vegas III: Getting there is 9/10ths the work.

Our 9pm flight to Vegas from Fargo on Christmas eve was already scheduled to be about 30 minutes late. That 30 minutes became an hour while we were waiting for the plane to arrive from Vegas. It comes time to board and something weird happens because all of a sudden people are no longer being allowed into the jetway. We wait several minutes and learn that something has gone wrong with the jetway and someone is coming to fix it. We finally get on the plane and our pilot informs us that we will leave as soon as the de-icer shows up and does it's job. That thing must have come from fucking Bismarck because it seemed to take forever for it to show up. We finally get rolling about 2 hours after our scheduled takeoff.

The first half of the flight was pretty smooth as my girlfriend and I were able watch some episodes of Arrested Development and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Somewhere over the rockies we start to bounce around a bit, but it doesn't get too bad until we land in 40-50mph surface winds in LAS. We grab our bags and hop on the shuttle to the new rental car emporium near the airport. They don't have the compact car I reserved, so they bumped me up to an 08 Chevy Impala - this is the only part of arriving that goes well.

The Chevy was a bit more car than I am used to and I caught myself racing down Las Vegas blvd at 70mph. We get to the Imperial Palace - both hungry and dead tired. The check-in line is about 15 deep and we decide to hit up the Teahouse for a quick meal. After chowing down my Eggs Benny I go back down to get in line. There is only about 10 groups in front of me, but I soon realize the line is moving so. fucking. slow. Someone would get up to a clerk, give them their ID and CC and all of a sudden that clerk would disappear into an adjacent office for 10-15 minutes. This happened with pretty much everyone who made it to the front of the line and was starting to piss me off pretty good after waiting an hour in a line that should take 10 minutes to get through. My girlfriend joins me in line and we finally make it up to a clerk. I give her my info and she tells me that they have no rooms left and that they need to put us up nextdoor at Harrah's. I understand that hotels overbook to ensure they are full, but there was no excuse for them taking as long as humanly possible to take care of everyone there.

We hike it over to Harrah's and get to a clerk immediately. It is 3am and we're both dead tired. He sets up the reservation for us, but when it comes time to give us keys their fucking keymaker goes dead and he tells us that we can either wait for it to start working again or they can call security to open our room for us. We ask for security who comes pretty quickly. We get to our room and the security guard opens it and someone's shit is all over the room - the numbnut Harrah's clerk gave us a room that was already occupied. I guess we're lucky we didn't walk in on someone getting blown by a tranny hooker. We go back down, get another room - this time with real keys, and finally get into our room. Sleep was in order.

Bowties, curly mullets, poetry

I just got done playing a $15 SNG where I took advantage good timing and a few suckouts and took home 1st place. My bankroll now sits around $160, up from the 4.40 I had 1 month ago. It's laughable that I have been able to build up a tiny roll from 4 bucks.

My GF and I returned from San Diego exactly 1 week ago. Amazingly, we saw less sun there than what we were seeing in Milwaukee. We went there for a conference - we are both looking for jobs. Kinda sucks to be in this position, but we made inroads for positions in Atlanta, but Toronto is also on our minds. Or maybe NYC, or Calif? Who the fuck knows where we'll be in 1 year. It's exciting, but also a bit shitty.

Our flight from MKE to SAN and back went through Denver. Flights were pretty good - watched some Curb Yr Enthusiasm on the laptop, and some direct TV on the plane. We had a 2+ hr layover in Denver on the way back. We had a very nice meal and drinks at Jimmy somethings' and few more drinks at the 'Cowboy Bar' before getting on the plane. Best time I've ever had on a layover. Kudos to DIA.

Las Vegas III is only about 5 weeks away. I simply cannot wait to be playing Pai Gow late xmas night at the IP. Downing Miller Lite's brought to me by a waitress in a skimpy dress and getting dealt cards from a Korean dealer, both wishing they were somewhere else.

Vegas: Part Two

Johnny Cheng was up with the birds, and the other 2 of us woke in time for a breakfast at the Teahouse around 10 am. Immediately after the meal, the 2 of us go down to the IP poker room and we each got seats in a 2/4 limit game. About half of the table had little to no clue how to play and both Johnny and I ended up the short session with modest wins. The Shoeshiner was rolling over his table and ended up about 100 bucks ahead after only an hour or so. Considering how weak the game was, it was kind of hard to leave the IP, but we had planned to play the 2pm tourney at Planet Hollywood and we stuck to that plan.

The room at PH had a nice modern feel to it. The dealers were pretty good, but I wasn’t in love with the wood ‘racing track’ on the tables. The tourney had about 75 runners in it, and I got off to a pretty nice start the first hour. I won a decent sized pot with K10 suited against a young girl who probably wants to be Brandi Hawbaker, but was a tad over weight. She was playing pretty fast, and it seemed like she was bluffing a lot early. Not long after that hand I pick up AA in the big blind. A Dude chugging rum and cokes raised from 1 spot behind the button and the Brandi wannabe smooth called from the SB. I popped it up 1K and original raiser folded, but Brandi moved all in immediately. I called, she showed 55, my AA held, and she was headed for the exit. I won another decent pot when I flopped 3 of a kind with KQ off, and won a few more pots before the end of the first hour. I had more than doubled up before the first break and liked the spot I was in. The next hour was atrocious as I got very few cards and was only able to steal the blinds a few times. I think I ended up the second hour with fewer chips than I had at the end of the first.

Johnny busted out during the 2^nd hour, but the Shoeshiner had a decent sized stack. We were down to 25 players or so when we started the 3^rd hour. I am in the big blind the first hand I have 3500 chips left after posting the 2K bet, it folds around to the SB who limps, and I put the rest of my chips in with garbage hoping the lady to my left folds. She calls off half her stack with J7 off, a J comes on the flop and IGHN.

I spent the rest of the time sweating the Shoeshiner who made the final table, despite taking a nasty river beat when they were to 11 or 12 players. The final 10 got paid and the Shoeshiner played some nice poker and ended up getting 4^th for $350. We had all exchanged 15 of each other, so I got back about 50 of my 60 dollar buy-in. After the tourney, we went down to the Spice Market Buffet which was very good, but slightly expensive.

We head back to the IP and agreed to play there the duration of the night. The Shoeshiner and I started to play some Pai Gow and have some drinks. After a few hours we decide to get in on a 2/4 game hoping it was as weak as this morning. It was, but I lose some big pots and end up losing a good chunk of my buy-in before deciding to go back to Pai Gow. I got up and left and the Shoeshiner and Johnny joined me not too much later. We are playing and a hand comes up where the dealer set her hand wrong, although no one caught it at the table. I think she set a flush behind and a very weak two card hand up front, when she could have set a pair up front and a pair in back. She went through most of the table pushing with everyone and taking their cards. A pit boss walked up and notices that she set her hand wrong and proceeded to give everyone their cards back and reset her hand. Everyone raises a big stink and I ask if we can all reset our hands after everyone’s hands have been exposed. He said yes, and I reset my hand to where I could still push with her. This pissed him off and he set my hand back to where it had been in the first place and takes my bet. This really pissed me off and I go into a profanity laced mini-tirade about how he had just told me I could reset my hand. Everyone at the table is yelling at him. He ends up giving me my bet back, but everyone at the table got up and left. I don’t know what the proper ruling is there, but it seemed like a pretty poor decision from a PR point of view.

We decided to take our Pai Gow tour next door to the Flamingo and got seated at a ‘mini Pai Gow’ table. This game was played with 6 cards, with a 1 card poker hand up front and a 5 card in back. There was no 5% rake which cut back the house edge and ended up making the game run smoother. I ended up a few bets after 2 hours or so and got a pretty nice buzz going from the 2 stiff 7 and 7s I drank. We head back to the IP around 6 am and crash having to check out 11am. We all made it up on time and caught our flight back to reality.

Vegas: Part One

The flight to Las Vegas was largely uneventful. I sat by a middle aged black woman who listened to the XM radio most of the flight, although somehow we managed to get our seatbelts tangled together at some point. We got off the plane, hopped on the tram, and got to the taxi waiting area. After 5 minutes or so we were off into the dead heat, headed for the Imperial Palace. The check-in line was somewhat long, and my attempt to bribe the clerk into giving us a suite did not work. We dropped our bags off in the room and headed up to get some lunch at Pizza Palace, which was ok. With the bill settled we headed down to get into the action at the IP poker room. I jump right on a 1-2 NL table that was running. There was a smattering of folks at the table; a T.J. Cloutier look-a-like, an annoying Texan to my right, chain smoking woman across the table. I played for about 4 orbits and didn’t win one hand. I had basically got blinded down to about 70 bucks, when I picked up 2 black aces on the button. The drunken Texan to my right raised to 15 and I pop it 25 more. The SB tanked and ends up flat calling. The flop was Q 10 rag. The SB bets 30 and the Texan makes it 60. I call off my last 30. The turn and river are both 3’s, the SB shows JJ and the Texan shows QQ for the boat. I took off and had a beer while winning 30 bucks playing video poker. I had two more beers during my charter Pai Gow session and won 10 bucks over the next hour or so.

The Shoeshiner, Johnny Cheng, and I decided to press our luck and play in the 7pm tourney at Sahara. All three of us got the impression that the tourney was a complete rock garden. I managed to last the longest collecting 5 dollars from my two companions, but bowed out in about 20^th place out of 140 runners. I doubled up early when my KK rolled over my opponents QQ, but it was slow going after that. I was low on chips almost the entire last 2 hours of the tourney, and went out when with 94 offsuit with about 2.5 times the BB left. The tourney seems pretty well run and the dealers were pretty decent and friendly. The structure is pretty good, although I wasn’t crazy about the fact that there are no ante’s. We jumped on the monorail and headed back to the IP.

The Shoeshiner and I bellied up to a Pai Gow table and began tossing back beers while learning the finer points of the game. Johnny joins us shortly thereafter. Hours and several beers pass, while Johnny decided it’s was time for him to head out around 2 am. We stayed in the game and downed several more drinks. At times our game was down to just the two of us and other times it was lively with random drunks. Two completely drunk morons sat down around 3 am and the one proceeded to clog the automatic shuffler by getting his cards wet. The next hand he bent one of the cards and they had to get another deck. He had to have been very close to getting 86’ed. Some time later a couple of decent looking drunk girls sat down and bought in for $200 each. They were both betting $50/hand with 5 bucks on the fortune bonus. Needless to say, they didn’t last long. I got out of there around 4am with a modest loss and a belly full of beer.

The Plan

Consider this a public proclamation regarding my intention to quit playing online poker for the foreseeable future. I am fairly convinced that the games have largely dried up on pokerstars and it is too difficult to move money around to bother looking for softer games at other sites. The plan is to withdraw my remaining balance on pokerstars once I hit enough FPPs to buy a ticket to the Sunday Million Donkstravaganza. This should take a weeks worth of time or less. I was going to hold out and wait until I got enough FPPs to buy a digital camera to replace the one I had stolen out of my car a few weeks ago (thank you very much anonymous prick who broke into my car in my garage, next time I will be waiting with a baseball bat and beat your fucking head in like a 15 year angst ridden teen smashes pumpkins). Playing the Sunday Million on stars has gone so well in the past that it seems fitting that it might be my last act of online poker unless Barney Frank has his way.

The money I cash out will be used fund an excursion to Las Vegas in mid-July. Me and a few buddies are heading out for a short trip sure to be full of poker and large quantities of alcohol, with some sports betting and probably some other casino games thrown in for shits and giggles. I've yet to take a turn at playing drunken (or sober) Pai Gow. I think I might try it. The money that I don't blow in Vegas will go towards some living expenses during the summer when I will be making a near poverty-level wage. I am also planning on checking out the action at the "new and improved" Potawatomi poker room. Stay tuned for a trip report.